High school is where it got really hard for me. Not only because it was high school, but my high school ended up not being a great school after all!
First, some history to get you caught up. I had gone to one middle school from 6th grade until through the first half of 8th grade. But 8th grade became stressful. The schoolwork was a lot, but I also was getting picked on by a group of girls. They didn't like what I wore, they didn't like my hair, my height - whatever. You name it. They didn't like what I brought for lunch. I tried talking to a teacher about these girls - and one girl in particular - but the teacher told me I needed to be nicer to that girl. The final straw (for my mom) was when a counselor called me out of class to ask me if my parents had enough money to buy me clothes - since the teachers had said they thought I was wearing the same thing every day. (That's another story too.)
So I transferred to a charter school for the last semester of 8th grade, and from there I went on to their High School, which was a Media Arts Academy. The first semester actually went great, it was a self paced school so I ended get really far ahead in my work. I even finished some full courses in a semester! But, when I came back from Christmas break, things started going down hill. I was barely finishing assignments, and not passing very many tests either. I was falling asleep at school, which is something I never do. And then by the end of February my right arm started hurting so bad when I tried to do anything. I thought I had just pulled a muscle or something, but then my head started hurting and after the third day of my head hurting, even when I took medicine...I knew my shunt was failing.
I went and got an MRI and from experience, I knew something was up when the nurses were all coddling me and then gave me a stuffed animal! Which I still have. I keep all the stuffed animals I get from the hospital or from people who give them to me as get-well gifts. Anyways, I had my shunt revision a couple days later and it turns out the tubing had disintegrated by my shoulder, explaining why my arm was killing me! The fluid in my head had nowhere to go so was backing up into my brain. I recovered really well and was back to school in 2 weeks, luckily 1 of the weeks was spring break so "technically" I wasn’t far behind in school, BUT I was still very very far behind in my work by now.
So, I went up to my principal to get some help with getting caught up and all she and the school did was write up a calendar, pretty much…well that didn’t work, so I came back after summer and asked her again. I finally started getting something put together with her when one day I came to school and we had a new principal! So back to square one!
I went up to the new principal that first day and introduced myself and asked for help and…this is where it gets great. The school wouldn’t do anything without a 504 (Even though one had followed me from the previous schools) so my mom started the process of getting that set up, again. That should take what, 2 weeks? No. It took 11 months after my surgery...11 months!!
Let’s start with...the new principal always sounded like she never wanted me in my 504 meeting, and she got mad that my mom said it was fine if I was in the meeting…it’s not like I was 6. I was 15/16 years old, I knew what was going on and I wanted to hear what they were saying and add my input. With just having Hydrocephalus I actually can get the highest 'accommodation plan'. The principal said she didn't even really know if I had a disability - as if I was making it up. (Probably never occurred to her to actually read my file.) I had been given 2 neuro-psychological evaluations - one from my neurologist’s office and one the school had me do. Even with BOTH of these - and a neurosurgeon's diagnosis - she wouldn’t give a me any accomodations. She even said - with her iPhone sitting in front of her - “well I don’t know what Hydrocephalus is.” Wait, I’m sorry, she said, “Well, I don’t know what Hydro-syphillis is”. Seriously. If I was her I would be doing some researching the night before or maybe even on my phone then? She also told me “Well, maybe if you go and get diagnosed with ADD/ADHD I can get you a 504 plan.”
(Photo credit to Hyperbole and a Half)
I told her how annoying it is having Hydrocephalus, because you can't see what is wrong with me, where as if I had a broken arm you could see that I had a broken arm.
I also said “Well, the teachers haven’t been that helpful.” and before I could go more into detail about that she says “Well, did you ask for help?” and before I could answer with a 'yes' she says “Well...then part of the blame falls on you.” That’s when I had had enough. I turned to her and I almost yelled, “It's not my fault! I have been doing everything I can and you guys won’t do your part!”
My mom had to go as far as threatening the school district by telling them she was done dealing with the school and she was going to hire a lawyer. So then, suddenly, the school was cooperative, and I got my 504 Plan. But by then the entire year had been wasted. And that’s just my first high school…
First, some history to get you caught up. I had gone to one middle school from 6th grade until through the first half of 8th grade. But 8th grade became stressful. The schoolwork was a lot, but I also was getting picked on by a group of girls. They didn't like what I wore, they didn't like my hair, my height - whatever. You name it. They didn't like what I brought for lunch. I tried talking to a teacher about these girls - and one girl in particular - but the teacher told me I needed to be nicer to that girl. The final straw (for my mom) was when a counselor called me out of class to ask me if my parents had enough money to buy me clothes - since the teachers had said they thought I was wearing the same thing every day. (That's another story too.)
So I transferred to a charter school for the last semester of 8th grade, and from there I went on to their High School, which was a Media Arts Academy. The first semester actually went great, it was a self paced school so I ended get really far ahead in my work. I even finished some full courses in a semester! But, when I came back from Christmas break, things started going down hill. I was barely finishing assignments, and not passing very many tests either. I was falling asleep at school, which is something I never do. And then by the end of February my right arm started hurting so bad when I tried to do anything. I thought I had just pulled a muscle or something, but then my head started hurting and after the third day of my head hurting, even when I took medicine...I knew my shunt was failing.
I went and got an MRI and from experience, I knew something was up when the nurses were all coddling me and then gave me a stuffed animal! Which I still have. I keep all the stuffed animals I get from the hospital or from people who give them to me as get-well gifts. Anyways, I had my shunt revision a couple days later and it turns out the tubing had disintegrated by my shoulder, explaining why my arm was killing me! The fluid in my head had nowhere to go so was backing up into my brain. I recovered really well and was back to school in 2 weeks, luckily 1 of the weeks was spring break so "technically" I wasn’t far behind in school, BUT I was still very very far behind in my work by now.
So, I went up to my principal to get some help with getting caught up and all she and the school did was write up a calendar, pretty much…well that didn’t work, so I came back after summer and asked her again. I finally started getting something put together with her when one day I came to school and we had a new principal! So back to square one!
I went up to the new principal that first day and introduced myself and asked for help and…this is where it gets great. The school wouldn’t do anything without a 504 (Even though one had followed me from the previous schools) so my mom started the process of getting that set up, again. That should take what, 2 weeks? No. It took 11 months after my surgery...11 months!!
Let’s start with...the new principal always sounded like she never wanted me in my 504 meeting, and she got mad that my mom said it was fine if I was in the meeting…it’s not like I was 6. I was 15/16 years old, I knew what was going on and I wanted to hear what they were saying and add my input. With just having Hydrocephalus I actually can get the highest 'accommodation plan'. The principal said she didn't even really know if I had a disability - as if I was making it up. (Probably never occurred to her to actually read my file.) I had been given 2 neuro-psychological evaluations - one from my neurologist’s office and one the school had me do. Even with BOTH of these - and a neurosurgeon's diagnosis - she wouldn’t give a me any accomodations. She even said - with her iPhone sitting in front of her - “well I don’t know what Hydrocephalus is.” Wait, I’m sorry, she said, “Well, I don’t know what Hydro-syphillis is”. Seriously. If I was her I would be doing some researching the night before or maybe even on my phone then? She also told me “Well, maybe if you go and get diagnosed with ADD/ADHD I can get you a 504 plan.”
(Photo credit to Hyperbole and a Half)
I told her how annoying it is having Hydrocephalus, because you can't see what is wrong with me, where as if I had a broken arm you could see that I had a broken arm.
I also said “Well, the teachers haven’t been that helpful.” and before I could go more into detail about that she says “Well, did you ask for help?” and before I could answer with a 'yes' she says “Well...then part of the blame falls on you.” That’s when I had had enough. I turned to her and I almost yelled, “It's not my fault! I have been doing everything I can and you guys won’t do your part!”
My mom had to go as far as threatening the school district by telling them she was done dealing with the school and she was going to hire a lawyer. So then, suddenly, the school was cooperative, and I got my 504 Plan. But by then the entire year had been wasted. And that’s just my first high school…
It always breaks my hear to hear stories like yours. Working for a school district however I know that you are telling the truth - and this does happen far more than I would like. I am sorry you had to go through such foolishness when all you wanted was someone to help you be successful. Isn't that what all teachers and administrators should want for the students in their building?
ReplyDeleteI have a poster on my wall that says "If you are a teacher and you don't believe in 100% of your kids, get out". Sadly a lot of teachers/administrators should get out.....
I know!
DeleteSo perfectly said Michelle....makes me cry to read this as I was there for some of this...but makes me sooooo proud of my daughters and granddaughter...
ReplyDeleteThat's OK Grandma, Mom yells at the schools a lot.
Delete